where do i start? after a weekend of rest and a solid week of editing photos and immatriculation, i don't know what to do with myself. since Saturday it has only been time for me to build up anxiety on my abilities this coming school year. it wasn't until Tuesday that i ran into some Lehrer i knew at the International House and had them talk down my silly preconceived fears. trust me, after the super fast-paced Sommerkurs, four days is like eternity. oh well, now i know a few more verbs, most of them in Perfekt and about half in Präteritum. still very slow.
[trockend Chili und Oregano]my photos are taking after Aileen's study of her personal surroundings. nowhere near as elegant, though i am eyeballing a 50mm/f1.8 for 19€ at a local camera shop. i also bought a lambency shade for my flash. i have no earthly idea where i will be using it in the near future, but you might find some random self-portraits in my miscellaneous album. nothing special.
i always have the cows. there is one photo where i think they could hear my shutter and both looked up towards my window.
Tuesday night i met with StudIT in the Ratskellar. it was wonderful to finally have real conversations! at the same time though, the past couple of days have been pretty boring in comparision. i mean, i make sure i go out every day. typically i just walk around shops and have snippets of dialogue with people in the store. i don't really like the idea of going out drinking by myself. it's kind of depressing to spend money with no purpose and it's not like i brought tons of clothes to dress for drawing attention. that's not my life in the States and it won't be here either.
which brings me to the question, what exactly, is my life going to be like here? nothing really begins until the school year starts. the wait is agonizing. who will i meet? what will be made from that? patience has not always been a virtue of mine, though i try.
there are so many possibilities and i am open to all of them. i am waiting for things to happen, but with no anticipation, no expectations. sure, that makes adjustment easier, but what is 'adjustment' to me? i live most of my life like this. it almost dampens my motivation in a way, i guess.
i'm sure some people would say that thay would kill for this extended in-between time. i've been getting accquainted with everyday life, which is supposedly to hard for most, but has never been an issue with me. not to brag, but putting so much weight those kinds of differences are pretty childish. correction: pretty material, minus missing people from your environment. even then, though, i also call that somewhat material. i always rave about how well established a lot of my friendships are; to the point that i feel like they are always with me, despite not physically being present. not everyone is as lucky as i. i take back any condescension. apologies.
even the more distinct cultural differences, i was prepared for that. i am understanding. it's no big deal. the more subtle, but deeply burrowed characteristics, i fear, i do not have the language comprehension to understand. back to square one. i need school to start. i need to make friends with German-speaking people.
enter my recent thought process. ie: nothing but worry. oh, how i wish i could just road trip alone.
[mein Lieblingsmotorrad in Tübingen]okay, so i slightly miss having a car. the independance i associate with it and use to full capacity is ever valuable. even moreso, i wish i could ride a motorcycle. it would be a release and a development at the same time.
other things i have discovered: and undying love for small crunchy pickles and gummy bears. who would have thought? the pickles are a nice munchy food and the gummy bears are just plain addictive. i didn't realize how fresh they were! the pickles are also considerably cheaper than olives. oh, my vices. that is enough for now, though. i must head off to the flea market to have a nice walk and some interaction. tschüß!
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